There is beauty everywhere. In life and in death. For those of you struggling this holiday season, be it from the loss of someone or from the process of losing someone, I ache for you.
My daughter’s last Christmas was horrid yet intensely gorgeous. Weak, skeletal, wanting nothing more than her siblings, her dad, her mum. Songs sung, a hand held. Her laughing at her favourite video even though she was blind and unable to sit up. Wheeling her mobile bed into the night. A blanket of stars. A board game with our other children. The fragrance of roses. Glasses of wine. Corners of tears. Her untouched stocking. Presents left under the tree. Preparation for a time without her.
I savour my moments of remembered
beauty. A calm amidst the madness
of my child living yet dying. Even now, years later, I remember.
My wish for you this Christmas is your own eye in the middle of your storm.
Tidings of comfort and joy.
With love, S.